Is this about right?

A Christian is someone who has Christ living in them. That is to say, the Holy Spirit indwells the believer with the very heart – the mind – of Christ.

A Christian is someone who believes that the God who created the cosmos, with its untold universes, each with untold galaxies, each with untold stars, each with untold planets, each with untold lifeforms – all out of nothing, instantaneously – follows every thought, action, and feeling of every human being ever born, in the past, alive now, and in the future, as well as the untold unborn.

This is one God – three persons equally, and each completely God – who decides which football team will win a game, which nation will win a war, and which lucky young gentleman will win the heart of girl.

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Some say you have to get dunked in water to truly belong to this God. Some say you have to speak gobbledygook to truly belong to this God. Some say you have to pray specific words, and they have to be from your heart, or they don’t count, to truly belong to this God.

He wrote a book – well, co-wrote, with about forty different people – to reveal everything to us. But only certain people know what the book means, and none of these people can quite agree about anything.

Republicans put God’s moral law first. Democrats put God’s social law first. God, am I overgeneralizing!

Abortion is wrong because of a line in a song. Homosexuality is wrong because, well, it’s just gross. And if you do anything that’s wrong – anything at all – you’ll burn in the fires of hell forever and ever and ever. Unless you either got dunked in water, or spoke gobbledygook, or prayed specific words from your heart.

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